Friday 8 February 2013

If You Can't Stand the Heat


Television chefs astound me. They rush around in their perfectly organised TV studio kitchen preparing gourmet meals in under thirty minutes (while leaving the rubbish and the pots for someone else to sort out) and then say “What could be simpler than that?”.

Well Jamie, have you never heard of a microwave?  Remove seal… wait for the ping… chow down. Simple! It may not be as delicious as the tiny thing that you created but it’s certainly much, much simpler and much more filling. And so is that staple of student cuisine, the Pot Noodle.

These cookery shows provide great entertainment but for many people they have as much to do with the food that they actually eat as Top Gear has to most people’s cars. In real life most of us treat food as just fuel. I guess that’s why we have such an obesity problem. Open mouth – stuff fuel in – burn fuel off somehow – repeat. Food is not there for taste it's just to make us feel full, so we can't be bothered about taking the time to make it wholesome, nutritious and delicious. Even more importantly in these busy days, cooking is a time-thief. We can't afford to spend half the day preparing your half-hour dinner because if we did we'd miss our favourite cooking programme.

So why should we be bothered to actually ‘cook’ meals as opposed to simply reheating things? Why on earth would anybody want to spend three, four or more hours chopping, stirring, baking, rolling, blitzing (I could go on) food which will, in all probability, be wolfed down in less than ten minutes? And don’t forget the washing up. Sometimes that alone can take longer than the eating time.

I appreciate that it can be a bonding thing between the one who cooks and the ones who eat but that’s not always immediately obvious. A single mum who puts food in front of three teenage boys is unlikely to experience much in the way of gratitude. She'll count herself lucky if they even eat it in the same room as her.
My Beloved, however, certainly does appreciate it when I make the effort to cook something. She says that she loves the food itself and the fact that she’s not had to cook it. That's really nice of her. It's always good to be appreciated.

But I don’t do it for her. I don't do it for the cookery element at all. I do it to relax. It might not seem it when I'm running around opening the cooker far too often to check on the contents while stirring with one hand and rummaging at the back of the fridge for some obscure ingredient with the other, all the while checking the tick-tick-tick of the clock as it slowly creeps to the precise second when my food should be done, but I find cooking relaxing. The following of precise and predictable recipies makes me concentrate on one thing, just one thing, at once - my brain doesn't have time to do its usual hyperspeed hunt-and-peck at things that I didn't know I was supposed to be worrying about. It just has to stop and focus totally on the unfamiliar act of folding or basting or whatever it is that's number thirty-six in the method on the recipe sheet. I cook to stop me thinking about other stuff, and if I produce something tasty (or at least something that doesn't give us both a case of runny-tummy) at the end of it then that's a bonus.

But, just like those television chefs, if I’ve cooked it then someone else can do the washing up.

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