There's A Light

Surely somewhere in the world somebody is having their driest year ever in 2012? We here in England are having our wettest for decades. It stands to reason therefore that, if the scientists are right when they say that there’s a finite amount of water in the earth’s seas, rivers, lakes and atmosphere, somebody somewhere must be having a terrible drought.

If they could give me a call, I have some buckets for them.

Similarly, I only ever hear on the news this year about how much my country owes to other countries. Then I hear that those other countries all have huge debts of their own. Looking at various economic reports I’m hard pressed to find a country that isn’t making repayments to others. So surely there’s a way of cancelling some of these circuitous contra-debts? They just seem to go round and round gathering interest, on and on forever.

One thing that doesn’t go on and on forever (see what I did there?) is the humble light bulb. The average life of the old fashioned (to us in Europe, that is) incandescent bulbs was supposed to be around a thousand hours. The newer, energy efficient bulbs are much more expensive than their incandescent ancestors but their makers claim that they can last ten times longer or more. Keep in mind though that these are the same makers who included ‘planned obsolescence’ into the filament design meaning that the bulbs had an artificially shortened lifespans. Allegedly.

I bring this up because I had to change a bulb this week. I turned the light at the top of my stairs on and *poof* it blinked out. I didn’t really enjoy standing on a wobbly chair at the top of the stairs (especially as it was on precisely the part with the uneven floorboards) but hey, some things just have to be done.

It was quite a sad event actually as this bulb had become something of a talking point, almost an old friend. We’ve lived in our house for well over twenty years now and he’s been there, shining brightly with a slight green tint (can you even get tinted bulbs any more?) for all that time – and presumably for quite some time before. I can’t imagine that the previous owners would have put new light bulbs in just before selling up. He cast a slightly sickly glow but we've become used to it, almost attached to it over the decades. But now he shines in a better place.

Now I know it’s not in the same league as a bulb that’s been shining almost non-stop in a San Francisco fire station since 1908 but still, I was pretty impressed by its longevity. And by its matching pair which is still working fine at the other end of my first floor landing. That one’s been there for the same length of time too and is still going strong. So now part of my landing lit sickly green, the other a slow-to-awaken bright cream glow of new eco-brilliance. Hmmm….

In memory of the dear departed illuminator I thought I’d close this week with my Beloved’s favourite joke. It’s old and it’s not the best in the world but she loves it. A bit like me, really.

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb.

A: Fish.

© Shaun Finnie 2012