Divide and Conquer

“Come on, Barnsley! Come on, Barnsley!”

It was Saturday and it was just after three o’clock and young men were bellowing their support for their team. Normally I'd see nothing wrong with that. I’ve spent time at Oakwell, the quaint little football stadium just outside of Barnsley town centre, and I understand the stylised tribal warfare that is the modern game. It's a safe (unless Leeds are involved) outlet for the passions and rages of clans protecting their own turf against out of town invaders. All good clean fun.

The problem was though that it was three in the morning, not the afternoon. And the guys that were doing the shouting weren’t at the ground, they were walking down my street.

As far as I know, no Barnsley F.C. representatives were involved but I don't give a hoot. Actually, as there are quite a few owls living within hooting distance of my house, I'd prefer a hoot or two from them to the loud and rather industrial football chants that dragged me from my slumbers.

So what's the correct response in this situation? It's not listed in my copy of Debrett's. The etiquette was simple in the old days when I was young and dinosaurs walked the earth. There was usually a guzunder close to hand…  (congratulations and apologies to anyone old enough to understand that one).

Should I have politely requested that they keep their noise levels down a bit? I can imagine the response to that would have been quite pithy and Anglo-Saxon. Maybe I should have rhetorically asked them if they knew what time it was? I suspect that - Barnsley Best Bitter being what it is -they neither know nor cared.

I don't need to tell you what I did though, do I? You guessed it: I waited patiently for them to go on their very merry way and lay there for a while before insomnia got the better of me. That's why I'm typing this in the early hours of Saturday morning. I know that in a few hours I'll feel tired again but right now I'm at the top of my game (which isn't high enough for me to get vertigo but it's the best I get) so I may as well make the most of it. And what do you know? I've been churning words out, my fingers flying over the keyboard and even occasionally hitting the letters that I want them too. Perhaps I should put a light on.

I've always done my best work first thing in the morning but I never knew that I could be so productive in the very small hours until recently. This idea of waking up and getting things done in the middle of the night then having a nap later is certainly not what most of us would call normal, but I've found that it works for me whether I want it to or not. Is it wrong? Apparently not. Some academics argue that this segmented sleep is the way that we human animals should get our rest naturally. Apparently we're designed to nod off earlier than most of us do, sleep for a few hours then wake to do something around two or three o'clock before heading back to bed for another couple of hours kip. Indeed it was the norm up until the 19th century so perhaps I'm 'right' in my sleeping patterns and the rest of the western working world is 'wrong'? Hmm, perhaps.

I think it's also quite likely that my sedentary lifestyle combined with a creative mind-set leaves my brain racing while my body hasn't been tired out. I should get some balance and some exercise.

But that's something to consider tomorrow. Right now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off for some sleep. Part two.

© Shaun Finnie 2012