Everybody has a dream. Something that they’d do if money
were no object, if they hadn’t made the life choices that they did, or if Kelly
Brooke hadn’t taken out that restraining order.
Some of us are fortunate to be able to live our dreams, and
mostly our lives turn out much for the better because of it. But everyone who’s
ever nodded off after watching a scary movie after an ill-advised late-night
cheese sandwich will know that not all dreams are good ones. Some turn out to
be nightmares.
They say that you should be careful what you wish for, and
some people most definitely dream dreams that are bad for them. Me? I dreamed of being a writer and due to circumstances
that were at least partly out of my control (though maybe asking my boss to
step outside a pub for a full and frank discussion on his managerial policies
wasn’t my finest ever moment) I can now live that dream.
Is it what I expected? Pretty much, yeah. Although there are
some things that weren’t in my gameplan. Even in my wildest dreams I knew that there would be a lot
of hard work, that I’d spend much of my time wracked with self-doubt, that my
mail would be mostly loads of rejections punctuated by the occasional
successful publication. But loneliness? No, I hadn’t planned on that one. I should
maybe have realised though that churning out a thousand words or so every day
is something that you can only do on your own and the more enthralled by it you
are, the more isolated you become, but I didn’t expect that I could go days on
end without talking to anyone, that I’d become so wrapped up in my work that I
don’t even realise that there’s an outside world to interact with.
I didn’t imagine that I’d start losing track of days either.
My Beloved keeps asking why I’m always asking her what day is it. It’s because,
from up here in my writing garret, they’re all the same. Wake, work, eat, sleep
– and dream of stories.
But you know what? Whatever the downsides, every day that I
spend writing is a heck of a lot better than being in a nine-to-five (and
sometimes well beyond) office. Having the freedom to do the work that I want,
when I want and being able to write wherever my imagination and my notebook
take me nothing short of magnificent. Especially on days when the sun is
shining.
Now I don’t know about where you are, but today is one of
those days. So you’ll have to excuse me – I’m logging off and going for a walk.
I’m working in the woods today.
© Shaun Finnie 2012
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