I don’t believed I’ve ever ruthed anyone either. I’m sure
that I’ve been ruthless a few times
though.
And, while I’ve had many mishaps in my life (and
occasionally been hapless too for that matter), I’m not sure that I’ve had too
many haps.
My point is that here are some things in life that you can
only do one way. Gruntling, ruthing and happing are some of them. And so is
losing weight. Despite what you might read in glossy magazines there’s no short
cut to weight loss. Forget all the fad diets and pills promoted by celebrities.
The only thing you’ll lose by following them is your cash.
It’s a simple logical formula: if the amount of energy you
stick in your mouth is less than the amount of energy you use, then you’ll lose
weight. And I was recently shocked into the realisation that I really need to
lose some weight when I’m worked out that I was around twice the size of my
Beloved. And no, the idea of fattening her up to redress the balance isn’t a
good one.
So I’m cutting down on my beer intake and upping my hill
walking. I’m replacing crisps and chocolate with fruits and nuts. And I’ve done
something that I’ve thought about doing for the last thirty years but could
never bring myself to do. It’s something that many teenagers go through a phase
of doing but I never did. I thought about it lots but never got the chance to
put those dreams into practice. Well I guess I’ve finally made it to my teens,
as I’ve bought some weights.
I read that doing squats while holding weights at chest
height is a good way of burning the fat so I gave that a go. Three sets of ten
squats, go! I held a dumbbell against my sternum and dropped to my haunches. I
immediately heard a series of cracks like gunshots as my knees complained but
that was OK. There was no pain so it must be alright. And even if it’s not, I’m
ignoring it as that’s The-Manly-Thing-to-Do.
Slowly I pushed myself back up and, much to my surprise,
made it all the way to five foot nine again. That was good, no bad results.
Down again and up again. With The Archers playing in the background this really
wasn’t too bad. I was actually enjoying myself.
After the first set of ten squats though I began to reassess
the situation. By the time Leonie told Lynda and Robert Snell her shocking news
(I didn’t see that coming, Archers addicts!) I was starting to feel the burn.
It was in my thighs, just above the knee. It felt like someone had used a
lighted match as an acupuncture needle. But I sucked it up and pushed through
it to the end of the reps. And do you know what? My knees didn’t smoulder, ignite
or spontaneously combust. I must be made of sterner stuff than I’d thought.
Like many people I started the year with a resolution to
lose some weight, but unlike some I kept pretty quiet about it. It was my
little secret. Well, one of them, but you don’t need to know about the others.
I don’t want lawsuits.
But now it’s time to come clean. I’ve lost eleven pounds
since January. Let’s see how low I can go.
© Shaun Finnie 2012
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