What's In A Name?

I took my nephew walking around a local country park the other day. He loves to go on nature walks with his Uncle Shaun and enjoys looking at the wildlife, especially all ducks great and small. It was a magnificent setting and like just about any grassed area near a large body of water ours has an infestation of those hefty but pretty nasty tasting birds, Canada Geese.

Deciding to test his identification skills, I pointed at one of these very distinctive creatures and asked the little lad, ‘Do you know what that bird’s called?'

He screwed his little face up deep in concentration for a few seconds and then ventured, ‘Is it Dave?'

Brilliant. You can’t make this stuff up. We then had a happy few minutes working our way through the flock with him dubbing them all, like some King in his play castle. ‘I name you, Oliver the goose. I name you, Jake the goose. I name you, Ethan the goose’, and so on. And on. And on. Truth be told, his patience with this game lasted a lot longer than mine but it kept him happy for a while, which was surely A Very Good Thing.

It got me thinking about the names he’d chosen though: Oliver; Jake; Ethan; Cameron; Jack; Ryan; Luke. None of them would have been in my ‘Pick twenty male names for a character in your next short story’ list. I always go for the same kind of names every time. Carl; Steve; Richard; John; Paul. Come to think of it, they’re basically the names of the boys I went to school with thirty years ago.

Similarly, If I were picking a female name it would be Sue, Claire, Helen; something like that. Apparently I’m stuck in my ways. No surprise there then, but when I researched a bit into modern child names I was surprised at how out of date some of the names I give my younger characters are.  I’d never call a character N’Quisha for example. Then again, I can’t understand why a parent would call their daughter N’Quisha.

I think I’d be happy with the Danish system. It makes name selection so much easier. All parents have to pick a name for their newborn from a list of 7,000 pre-approved ones. If their choice isn’t on the list, then they have to make a special application to several official Ministries to use the name – and most non-standard names are rejected. N’Quisha? Sorry; not on the list. You’ll have to settle for Olaf.

Maybe I should set my next story in Denmark? I’ve got this idea for one about a Prince who goes a bit mad trying to avenge his father’s murder. I’d like to write that something rotten.


© Shaun Finnie 2012